“The Alhambra” or “18 Pitches to Marital Bliss” by Katie, in honor of our one-year anniversary (almost)
Climbing is like marriage, sort of. When you tie yourself to another person, putting their life in your hands and your life into theirs, it’s a bit like saying “’til death do us part.” Long climbs seem even more like marriage, because you add the act of commitment. Not only are you agreeing to be responsible for your partner, you’re agreeing to do it for some period of time, through challenging and intimidating situations.
The Alhambra is a 600-meter, 18-pitch, bolted rock climb in Ticino, Switzerland. It is a mostly moderate route; the hardest pitch is 6b+ (5.10d), and most are much easier. It has a half-hour approach, afternoon sun, and is good quality rock. Despite the number of pitches, it can be done easily in one day. It is a very popular climb and a good place to test your relationship with your (climbing) partner. In April, Tim and I tackled this giant, and learned a little about our marriage at the same time!
We arrived at the base at 8am with lively spirits and brimming with anticipation. This was a little different from our first day of marriage when we were so exhausted from the wedding that we could hardly decide how to spend the day. But the excitement of something new was similar.
The first three pitches are easy climbing: 5.5-ish. Tim began climbing, saying, “When the rope runs out, just start climbing.” I agreed, simul-climbing is a great way to move quickly. So, like our honeymoon, the beginning of the Alhambra was easy and enjoyable: pure pleasure.
Pitch 4, my turn to lead and the first challenging pitch: a slabby 6a+. I was a little scared, but Tim was patient and supportive. This challenge is like the first quarrel of the marriage when we had the energy to persevere. The successful outcome of this challenge was exhilarating: not only had I led a difficult pitch, we were already done with four pitches, in only one hour on the rock!
Tim led the next two pitches, to set us up for swapping leads for the rest of the climb. The Alhambra is nice for a team of one strong leader and one not-so-strong leader, because it pretty much follows the “one easy, one hard,” pattern. Just like a cooperative married couple, climbing partners who swap leads are efficient and reach their goals effectively. With the new system, pitches 5, 6, and 7 flew by. We were comfortable with the system, the climbing, scenery, and company were all enjoyable. This seemed like the first few months of our marriage: honeymoon is over, but marital bliss still lingers.
During pitches 8 and 9 of the Alhambra the rock transitions from a wide open slab wall, to steeper, blocky rock. Tim was happy to be off the slab and led comfortably and confidently though the steepest part. I had a tougher time, struggling a bit with the rock transition, but managed to muster up the strength to deal with the new challenge. At the top of that pitch, Tim was getting more excited for the new climbing ahead, and I was starting to doubt my abilities. Just like in daily life, people get pleasure and pain from different experiences: we have to learn to cooperate, even when we have different tastes.
After the transition off the grey whale of slab below, Pitches 10 and 11 became even steeper and a bit awkward. Tim used his strength to work out the crux of pitch 10 and I followed, fearful of the difficulty and the pressure to keep going. As I led pitch 11, I was pushed to the limit of my climbing ability and mental composure. I knew that I had to keep climbing but the difficulty and exposure of the pitch was taxing. By now, Tim’s patience was waning and he offered little support. So, I climb this challenging pitch without emotional support from my husband. I didn’t climb it clean, but I did make it to the top.
When Tim reached the top of pitch 11, he commended me for leading such a hard pitch. I heard him, but was exhausted and had already succumbed to my fears. In everyday life, we are challenged with things we must face by ourselves. In marriage, you have to learn when to rely on your partner, and when to rely of yourself. Sometimes these situations are exhausting, but success is sweet.
The remaining seven pitches seemed steep and daunting as my exhaustion from the first 11 settled in. A rest on a large grassy ledge and a short walk to the base of pitch 12 gave us time to communicate. Tim knew I was tired, but always has trouble understanding my fear of exposure, and why I can’t control it. But, just like in marriage, you have to try. You might not understand how your partner is feeling, or why they feel that way, but as their spouse, you can at least try to help. Tim’s patience was tested but he offered some hasty support and then started climbing again. He agreed to lead the next two pitches to give me a rest from leading, and help me relax.
The plan worked. Pitches 12 and 13 were very challenging, but I was able to enjoy them, knowing my husband is strong and reliable. As we progressed though these difficult climbs, I even impressed myself with my strength and ability. My mood changed rapidly. Everyone needs a little confidence. Sometimes, it is best to just keep working on something until it happens. Tim did his best to keep the rope tight, giving me assurance that he’d catch me if I fell. It’s amazing what a little reassurance will do for confidence: just like paying your wife a compliment.
We persevered through the remaining pitches and true to the climb the easy pitches were very easy and the hard ones were enjoyably challenging. Tim was strong and calm about the climbing, and while I started each pitch timidly, I always made it. Together we eased through these pitches to the top. Similar to the challenges we are facing now (you know, living in a foreign country), we hope to work through the moves by supporting each other.
Here’s what marital bliss looks like!
